Charlie Kaufman is my friend

Well, a friend of a friend.

Actually, he exchanged words with the friend of a girl that works at Borders. Yes, that one.

This is what happened:

Act I.
Saratoga Springs, inside the public library.
Gabriel walks in to Higher Grounds Cafe, enters set from the left.
Mystery girl at the counter, talking to an old lady who fusses about the chocolate cake on counter.
Gabriel waits for lady to be done, then timidly approaches counter.

Mystery Girl - "Hi, what can I get you?"
Gabriel - "A small cafe au lait please."
MG - "What coffee would you like me to use?" (MG proceeds to list a number of coffeehouse-sounding coffees, like toasted cinnamon and hazelnut vanilla).
G - "uh, I thought cafe au lait was done with french press"
MG - (taking an air of confidence in her coffee skills) "No, that's a latte, do you mean the one with the espresso shot in it? Yeah, that's a latte. I can make you a latte."
G - (secretly knowing that a cafe au lait indeed does have french press coffee, whereas a latte is espresso mixed with steamed milk, and depending on the crema of the espresso, can yield beautiful latte art - he knows this because he accomplished a half-assed apple once while showing off at the Humble Bean) "OK, a small latte then".
G - (quickly realizes that this is his chance) "Do you know they're filming a movie right across the street from us?"
MG - (looks up) "Oh?"
G - (feeling empowered and bold at MG's response to G's poor pickup line) "Yes, you know the building right across from us?" (points at window behind MG) "That's where I work. Yesterday we were told not to come in during Sunday, because a film crew would be using part of our offices to shot a movie. See that orange sign in the parking lot? It says No Parking, Temporary Police Order".
MG - (looking truly interested, replies while working the espresso machine) "Oh, maybe that's why I saw Charlie Kaufman."
G - (interrupts, now on a roll) "Really? Kaufman? When?"
MG - "I was at Borders and a friend of mine, working with me, points it out, that Charlie Kaufman had stopped by, and I didn't know how he looked, but she did. Anyways he forgot his cellphone and comes back for it, I ask 'Excuse me are you Charlie Kaufman?' and he says yes."
G - (rather excited, maybe too much) "Wow. That is very cool. How did he look?"
MG - "Plain, black curly hair. Two fifty-five please."
G - (realizes this is it, the end of conversation, and manages to keep it going while searching for change) "Have you seen any of his movies?"
MG - "Yes, Being John Malkovich."
G - "How about Adaptation?"
MG - "Oh yes, that's right, he also did that one. Yeah I saw it, kind of weird."
G - "Well if it's Kaufman writing this one it'll probably be weird as well."
MG - (nods in approval).
G - (silently happy, glad he took the chance, already expecting her to become his one true love, constructs scenarios in his mind, fast-forward 2 months and they're going out together, he buys her flowers, comes to pick her up at Borders after work, takes her to his place, cooks european food, serves expensive wine, thrills her with his dashing spanish looks and that oh-so-subtle je-ne-sais-quois, sophisticated flair, quasi-mystical aura, after dinner they sit on the couch, his rather expensive 17th century Tibetan couch, and he thanks his lucky stars, as she leans forward and whispers, "oh gab..." ---)
MG - "Thanks, have a nice day."
G - "Thanks" (Walks out the door into library, sweaty armpits, feeling victorious).

If it would have ended here, no harm would have been done, I'd almost say some good would have been done, I mean at least we had a 3 minute conversation! I'm laying the foundation here folks, I'm working my magic.

But.

Idiotical creep alter ego manages to convince me and I walk back in to show her the "cool" pictures I took of our office yesterday on my cellphone so you can say that if the movie makes it big well you can say that you saw pictures of the set before anyone else, neat huh?



?????

What a moron.